Is God Enough??

That was the name of my devotional for yesterday and it totally struck a cord in me.

The basis for this devotional comes from 1 Samuel 8 where basically all of the elders of Israel approached Samuel and said that they didn't want Samuel or his sons anymore but they wanted to be ruled by a king like all of the other nations (which were corrupt by the way)...Samuel, disagreeing with this, prayed to God for his guidance and God basically said that it isn't anything personal to Samuel, but it's personal to Him. Despite that though, God still wanted Samuel to give the the Isrealites what they had chosen, so they got a king like all the other nations.

In my devo part of that it basically asked me to pick whether I'm more like the Samuel who is confronted by people asking him to make changes he believes are wrong of the Israelites who are wanting to be like others. After a few seconds it was pretty obvious which one I am...I'm exactly like the Israelites, which I kind of hate that part of myself...always wanting to be like others and if I'm not like others in a certain way, then major anxiety and self questioning follows...it's a problem.

This lead to the following questions...how might trying to be like someone else cheat you out of what God wants for you? And what would your life look like if you trusted God to give you what you needed, regardless of how odd that may seem when compared to other people's lives?? After thinking a little bit, I came to this conclusion: My life would be SO much better!! If I could just stop comparing myself to other people and losing my joy out of it and started to trust that the Lord has got his hand on me in this, that he has his awesome plans for me and he made me unique in some ways for a reason, I would be so much more content with where I'm at and who I am!!

In the final words of my devotional it asks me to sit in a quiet place, and practice feeling okay being different from other people, even trying to view my difference as special or chosen...man is that harder than it sounds!! Being different, I don't want to be different! I think this is the point in life where differences are starting to become even more pronounced which is why this resonated so much in me because it's getting harder now that my friends and I are all pursuing different paths...most people are going to grad school, and I'm not. Most people are taking the GREs right now, and I'm not. Even though it's such a little thing, I think I'd feel so much more comfortable if I was doing all of this grad school stuff just so I didn't feel different and so that I could have a safety net of knowing what's next for me, surrounding me...but I have no desire to go to grad school, it wouldn't be right for me to pursue all of it because I don't think that's where the Lord is leading me. He's leading me somewhere, I just don't know where yet!! I have to keep reminding myself that right now He has got his hands on me and I just need to wait on him to show me what's next because he's got a special and chosen plan for me.

A special and chosen plan for me....I have to keep reminding myself of this daily....a special and chosen plan for me!