Summer...so far.

So once again it's been months since I last posted, but today I got the itch to write and so here I am writing.

Well first I should probably update you on my life. So about a month ago I GRADUATED COLLEGE! What?!? Ya pretty much the biggest event of my life besides getting married and having a baby. That pretty much out trumps everything else that happened before it so I'll just talk from here on out about post graduation life.

Since being out of school I have managed to spend one week in Colorado (so beautiful, wish I was back there!), move everything out of my house in Tucson (so glad I'm not back there!), see one of my greatest friends get married (so fun, with I was there again!) and apply for jobs and freak out about usually once a day now, some days more some days less. Yup, welcome to my life folks, it's like a spinning toronado of fear, anxiety, stress, sometimes excitement and overall just this sense that I wish I could go back in time and forever life in college life, or live in vacation life of colorado or celebration life of scott and grace's wedding. BUT as we all know life doesn't work this way. I'm starting to realize that any job I take, any interview I have is just going to be plain uncomfortable and scary which I hate!!! I look at job descriptions daily and always see something that I'm not quite comfortable with...but I'm starting to realize this time in my life is just going to be that way.

It also doesn't help that I've somehow seemed to have lost some sense of direction I once had...crazy huh? For Alycia to not have direction!? Seems like I've been plagued with this task all my life, just trying to answer the simple question of what am I supposed to be when I grow up? There's a dily toss up between adoption social worker, graphic designer, occupational therapist, sonographer, small business owner, travel agent...literally this is my head! This also has lead my job searching to whole new levels because I feel like you have to be so concentrated in some direction to land any of those jobs! You can't just be a FSHD major and be a graphic designer, you have to have a degree in graphic design to do that...and to be an OT requires a masters degree specialized in OT, so I can't go get a masters in Social Work and then decide I want to be an OT. I mean, it's not like I have to decide now, I just wish I could figure it out a little bit.

Ok sorry for my rant, it just helps getting it out! Enough of all the complaining....on a positive side what this being weird place in life is causing me to test my faith. One of my wise friends Sam just recently told me that if you're experiencing true faith then it shouldn't be easy. Welp, this ain't so easy and I'm not sure if it's because I'm exibiting true faith or no faith at all. The hope at least is this, that the Lord will provide for me, he is good to me and will provide. Jeremiah 29:11 "for the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It is is teaching me a lesson in being content. I can't live my life constantly wishing I was back in time somewhere else or putting college days on a pedastal which only agonizes me more into wanting to be back to the way my old life was...nope that's not being content at all now is it?! Content, I'm learning, is being good with where you're at and trusting that the Lord has got you in his hands and has valleys and mountain tops set for a reason. If I'm constantly wishing I was out of the valley then how will I ever realize the goodness that the Lord made in those valleys. He'll lead me out of them in His perfect timing and that's way better than my timing!

Okay Lord, I'm going to have peace and rest in you today knowing that you have a future for me. Please Lord just be obvious...that's all I ask, be obvious in which jobs to apply for and which to interview and which one to take! Lead me to my next step Lord.