Once again I've become inspired to blog...and just about life this time! Sometimes I'd like to share with people what's going on in my life and other times I feel really vulnerable and so I'm like this little turtle that starts to poke my head out and then I get scared by something little like grass and I quickly retreat back into my shell...so here it is, I'm not going to be afriad of no grass! I'm sticking my head out of my shell to tell the cyber world about MY LIFE!
Here it goes....
Right now I'm experiencing discontentment in my life living in Tucson which is a very frustrated place to be at because sometimes I feel as if I'm only living for the next exciting event that's happening in my life...currently that would be the countdown until Fed gets home in the middle of November (sooo far away!! I miss my buddy!!) and because of that I'm not finding joy in the everyday things or even in the opporunity to go to school. I know I'm going to miss school once it's over in May and it freaks me out to think I don't have any clue what I'm doing after and so I want to fully appreciate my time while I'm still in school but when I'm only living for the few exciting moments that are in the future I'm oblivious to what I have now. Part of me thinks this discontentment comes from not feeling at home or where I'm supposed to be, and I don't mean not being in Phoenix, but I'm so ready to be out of academia where it feels like everyone's goals are to get a good rec letter or get into grad school. There's just so much competition in that environment, and I think Tucson is beautiful but it's not where I want to end up...so I think part of it is just not quite feeling at home yet which is probably good because I want some more adventures before I find that place that feels exactly right and I never want to leave! Wait, does that even happen?! Not sure...
That brings me to my next point...I'm still feeling really at peace about my whole future thing. Still scares the crap out of me when I truly think about it but I also have come to this point where I am fully relying on the Lord to let me know what I'm supposed to do and not worrying about the next step, he'll bring me something, he always does so why would this time be any different??
So some new developments in ideas about future career possibilities have sprung up on me in the last month or so....now I am praying to find direction between these two because they are quite different. Drum roll please....ultra sound tech!! or graphic designer! Well ok, graphic design has always been in the back of my head because I love creative things, but I constantly have this little voice inside that tells me I don't have that intrinsic creative quality you would need to be a graphic designer...but do they teach you that in school? Do I have it and I just am doubting it? Now ultra sound tech is completely the opposite direction, I'd be working in a medical field but I'd be working with people in a rewarding setting, and I could wear scrubs all day (heck ya!) but will I get bored of it easily because there's not that creative element? Get my point here...neither one fits perfectly but both could fit and both are totally different! I think the dilemma also comes with not fully knowing exactly what I'd be getting into with either one....hopefully this will become more obvious as time goes.
Other life updates right now include:
- Making progress on my thesis (praise Jesus!)
- Missing my buddy soo much right now I can't wait until he's back into town
- Being challenged by YL but in a good way that makes me re-evaluate where my value is coming from
- Becoming obsessed with chai tea lattes
- Working on week 5 (out of 9) of running which will eventually lead me to running a full 30 minutes which should hopefully be 3 miles!
- Wanting to travel somewhere...Colorado? California? Somewhere close and easy but different...
- Started volunteering at Arts for All...a school based solely on art classes (ceramics, music, drawing, etc.) for people with disabilities
Ok so sorry for the book I just wrote...but I had to update you! Hopefully I can try to keep this up so that my future posts won't be nearly as lengthy and detailed...this is a good challenge to look for the little things during the day (which I'm not very good at) that make an impact : )
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